So long, Xanga. You were really ever only good for two things: starting arguments and helping me convince everyone Rachael and I were besties long before we'd ever actually shared words. But look how that last one turned out. I used to have this mantra that I'm sure popped up in several posts: "There's always a girl, there's always a girl, there's always a girl." Turns out I was wrong. There isn't always a girl. Sometimes it's just you and an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach. Enjoy some free-form. Much love, Trevor
There Was a Boy There was a boy And when he was young he thought he knew what love was And he knew that it was beautiful and tragic and real And There was a girl, brimming with laughter and light and life And for the first time he felt truly in love And he was enraptured by her innocence and naïveté And sometimes she would call to him And once she touched his head and smiled And he swore then that he felt his heart skip a beat And he pursued. And she relented And he was afraid and so very shy And he never kissed her, and he regretted it terribly And she showed him to her family, but he remained unchanged And she held council with her cousins, and soft words were spoken And when the time came, he left, but she never asked him back And for three years he held her memory captive in his heart Never realizing she had become unlike herself And he pursued. And she resisted And eventually he lost all hope and steeled himself with apathy and hate And then one day he saw her again, and she was warm and sweet and safe But he did not pursue. And she did not repent And he watched her from afar and bid his time And only when it was too late, he realized that she was never coming back And she was lost to him And she was saving all her smiles for someone else And he knew that mistakes had been made And he knew that opportunities had been missed And it was too late to beg forgiveness And all his second chances had already been spent There was a girl like a shining star, like a goddess in black and white Who spoke only shades of grey And she courted him with whispers, and he wooed her with ink And they hid their hearts in lockers and their thoughts behind veiled eyes And she was beautiful and sad and exciting and so very alive And he loved the games they played, but he loved the other girl even more And he ignored her because he didn’t understand And when he’d finally given up the ghost, she appeared to him again And she was Hollywood. And she was Broadway And she burned brighter than before, and he burned for her, too And he pursued. And she acquiesced And when he was finally convinced that he’d been blessed, he threw it all away Because he couldn’t commit And mistakes were made And fingers were pointed and harsh words were exchanged And they agreed that it was over and it was better this way And later on he began to realize that he’d been the one to blame And he apologized. And she conceded And they got high together, and they rediscovered one another And there were jealous lies spoken, and they were torn apart And she no longer called. And he didn’t understand And when the days grew longer he sent her secret letters Soft words from poetic minds, in print mosaics And when he couldn’t stand it any longer, he came clean and confessed And they talked. And they reconciled And he found her different than he remembered. And he perceived a great divide Because she had discovered love and purpose where he saw only ignorance and fear And he pursued. And she put up walls And she told him that he was mistaken. And he didn’t understand And he felt bitter and betrayed And he set her aside to let her burn while he faded There was a girl, wise beyond her years, and free A mystery to him, a name spoken in reverence And she talked to him. And she came along with the rest And they made a pact, and they were partners and inseparable And she understood him like no one ever had And he told her she was special and deserved great things And when he tried to lead her, she walked beside him And when she needed sanctuary, he was her escape And they spent the long days together doing nothing, simply being And they were happy. And they were warm And at night she would hold him, Because he was afraid what it would mean if he held her And she quietly persisted. And he loudly denied And she was too proud to let him see her cry And he wouldn’t commit. And he convinced himself that he couldn’t commit And mistakes were made And eventually she gave him up and found someone else Because he had pursued. And she accepted And when she went away he slowly fell apart And he couldn’t sleep because his bed was big and empty And he couldn’t feel because his body was numb And he couldn’t think because every thought belonged to her And over time he remembered life without her. And, reluctantly, he let her go And she grew up, and he never saw her And she moved on, and they never spoke And people said that she was different And they told him that she cared what people thought And it killed him that they had made the same mistake And he missed who she used to be And he missed what they used to be And he missed what she used to stand for And he wondered if he’d ever see that girl again There was a boy who they called a man, but he was full of doubt And because he was a little bit older and a little bit wiser He admitted that he hadn’t known what love was, But he thought that it was beautiful and tragic and real And he knew that his commitments were in question And he knew that his mistakes could never be unmade And he wondered if those girls had ever really changed, Or if he had just stayed stubbornly the same | 
